Easier said than done – letting go and letting them
In our last post, we suggested that managers and others who want to introduce change to their team or organization approach the people affected in a different way than they are used to (which is often “I am the manager – here is what we are going to do”), using the Change Equation* as a foundation. We suggested that the first conversation is not led with solutions, but with “I see an issue here. Do you? What do you think?” And then to listen. It’s called humble, or servant leadership.
Often, one response that comes up for us, because we are human, is being judgmental: “Why don’t they understand?” “Why are they saying that?” “They are so frustrating – how can they be so dense?”
Well, it’s because they look at the world from a different viewpoint – from different experiences and backgrounds and mindsets. They are not you. (These differences have always been there – we are finally recognizing that and we need to be mindful of that. ) “Why don’t they recognize ….?” It’s because they just don’t see it like you do.
Say you have a mandatory weekly staff meeting. For years, it has been every Tuesday morning at 7:30 AM. But for the past year or so, people have been arriving late, whether in person or on Zoom. Some have been looking at their phones the whole time. Some are there but their screens are off. You believe these meetings are important – after all, once a week is not too much to ask for them to be together. You have tried incentives (food), rewards (those not late for six months get something). Nothing changes much after the first month. You wrack your brain, trying to think of what to do.
Using the Change Equation, coupled with humble leadership, you could do this: Schedule a staff meeting at a completely different time, like lunch (and provide lunch!). Give them a few minutes to eat and chat, then open with something like:
“For several years, we have had weekly staff meetings on Tuesdays at 7:30. However, it is my observation that many are late (even on Zoom), and many are not really paying attention. I feel these meetings are important – so you know what is going on and so you feel connected and part of this “family.” I also like to know what’s on your mind. What do YOU think?”
Are they dissatisfied? What is their discontent (the D in the equation)? It will be hard to listen with an open mind and a closed mouth. Assuming you have a group who is not hesitant to voice their opinions, encourage them to express their views. And their own questions, eg “Why do we …?”
Listen, and take notes. Then, you could ask for a small group to work with you to find a new way (the Vision) of accomplishing the goals you want. Better yet, have them design that new way without you, and then bring you a couple of ideas, including the First Steps to implementation.
“But you don’t know the group I have, “ you may be thinking. “They’d never do it.” Perhaps. (Sometimes, people want to be invited. Who would you want at that table? And don’t forget the nay-sayers!)
Another way of thinking is doing as if. Work with them as if you believe they are committed and, like you, want to see things succeed. Part of being a leader is to bring out the best in the people on your team.
A recent blog post I read about how to be a better leader-as-influencer almost got this, but not quite. The post talked about how leaders need to understand what their team members are thinking, and what they are feeling about things. Then, the leader could use this to shape how to present her/his idea to the team and make them understand how the ideas could benefit them. By appealing to what the leader knows about their thinking and feelings (their heads and hearts) they might be able to convince them to agree to the idea.
If that doesn’t work right away, the writer suggests “planning seeds”, and to ask their responses.
Either way, it is leading with solutions.
Instead, approach as if. And then let go and let them.
*Change Equation: Discontent x Vision x First Steps > Resistance. (Clarify each of the first three in order.)
